Poop!

Poop seems to be a popular conversation topic so I thought I would have that as my one word title for this post. Odd? Yes. But I can be odd as well so I think it fits.

I posted about Garrison telling me he had to poop mid sentence the other day on FB and since all of you who read this are on FB I won't go into that story again. But I think it's interesting just how obsessed he is with poop. I thought it was just a stage he might be going through. Why would I think this? Becuase he uses the word a lot. Garrison to our dog Sox: "You're a poo poo butt Sox! hahahahahahaha!" He cracks himself up all the time. He likes to just say it for no reason at all. I thought it was a 4 year old thing until I started getting tons of comments on FB about my poop post. Apparently everyone enjoys the topic of poop. So here are a few more:

Last night Garrison was sitting on the potty and after about 10 minutes I walked by and said, "Are you done yet?" His response: "No, mommy, I'm still squirting!" WHAT?!?! Where does he hear this stuff? His father I'm SURE!

We were at his daycare one morning this week. When you walk in you have to electronically clock your child in. (Great method by the way to ensure a random psycho doesn't come to pick your child up from school one day.) I was clocking him in and he stood there and announced in front of the entire room, "I'm gonna' FART mommy!" And of course he can't put the same emphasis on the word fart as he does the others. No, no - this word is of the utmost importance. So I tried as best I could to ignore his comment and we went into the hallway where all the classrooms were. I said, "Garrison, let's not say that." He said, "Why not mommy? Fart isn't a bad word!" How to explain to a 4 year old that we can laugh at home all day about farts but not talk about them at school is challenging, especially when the crowd who just heard his comment was filtering out into the hallway. So I did what any mature, responsible parent would do. I said, "Do you think you can beat me to your classroom?" When all else fails, change the subject!

Garrett worked until 1:30 AM last night and was exhausted when he got home. I was in a dead sleep when the dogs jumped off the bed and started barking like they were ready for a full on attack of the "night intruder". My heart was pounding until I realized where I was and that it was just Garrett. Those are some good watch dogs. Did I ever tell y'all about the time we lived in Connecticut and Sox almost ripped Garrett to shreds? I was in bed and Sox was laying at the foot of the bed. Garrett came home late from work and opened the door. Sox was growling, teeth baring, drooling, barking like I had NEVER heard him do before. I swear I thought he was going to leap off the bed and attack. I hear Garrett banging his hand against the wall in desperate search of the light switch to prove it was really him. The whole time he's shouting, "Boogie (what we call Sox), it's me! Boogie! It's Daddy!!!" in this high pitched what-the-hell I'm about to die voice. It was priceless!!! As soon as he flicked the light on Sox laid back down as if nothing happened while Garrett stood there sweating and panting. Haha! Good guard dog indeed! Now I ax ya' (ever seen My Cousin Vinny? Great movie!) - do these look like mean dogs to you? By the way, click on the links at the end to see two classic My Cousin Vinny clips.

Well, I'm hoping Garrett can get my car fixed tonight so we can still make it to Coleman this weekend to see his Granny. I'm sure you saw on FB it will be over $1300 to fix at the shop. Hopefully my handy hubby can get it done for way cheaper but the question is does he have the time? My car is screeching so loud this woman walking her dog yesterday turned and looked at me as if she feared for her life when I was driving down the road. So if y'all see a silver Xterra that sounds like it's dying a slow and painful death, don't be skerd. It's just me and my metal grinding on metal brakes begging for a little TLC. Sounds sweet when you put it that way right? Not so much.

MY COUSIN VINNY CLIPS:
My favorite scene:
http://www.mefeedia.com/entry/opening-statement/11040467
Watch for language in this one:
http://www.mefeedia.com/entry/pants/11040494

Jewels*